chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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