she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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