I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
