so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
