he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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