he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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