I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
