So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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