is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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