So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She bit a glass in half.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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