I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
