thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
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