you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Randomize
