if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
