Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
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