I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Randomize