This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
