I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
