I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
