haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
