I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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