it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
