Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
