i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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