Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Can I color on your dick again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize