kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
