its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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