dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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