kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
