Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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