How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
