he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
