some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
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