so that wasnt chicken after all
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
