My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
