2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
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She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
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I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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