that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
