I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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