Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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