Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
