god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
How's work?
Spinning.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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