We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
