She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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