areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
