That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
it's great music for shaving your balls
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
