Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
