Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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