wrigley field is MILF paradise
You're earring is so big in my mouth
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
