hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
