I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
