the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
