You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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