im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
This is classic penis vs brain.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
