My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
