It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
