i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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