let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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