His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
