Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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