Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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