they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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