woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
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