i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I smell stomach acid.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
