didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
