You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
